Stop selling yourself short!
Van Gogh is reported to have said: “If you hear a voice within you say ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”
Thank goodness he did. But as a coach, I still have to push people to ‘paint’ or more relevantly, train.
Sometimes we get caught up in a psychological wrestling match with that little voice inside of our head, that chips away at our confidence, and dials up the doubt.
What if you mess up?
What if you make a fool of yourself?
What if people see, and what will they say?
What if I’m not smart enough? Talented enough? Capable or experienced enough?
What If. What If. What If!
When I wrote my 3 Steps to Silence book, I dived into a topic of what causes fear. This was both relevant for human and canine, because I find the two go hand in hand.
Self-doubt is a part of a human’s experience, and there is likely not one person, who hasn’t doubted themselves in someway, at sometime. Whilst self-doubt can be useful, if left unchecked the fear that is fuelling our doubts can drive us to be over cautious and keeps us from taking any action at all, that would benefit both ours, and our dog’s behaviour.
I see far too many capable and talented people (particularly women) selling themselves short because they’re afraid they don’t have what it takes, or are worrying about what someone else might say about their efforts.
Doubt sits triumphant for too many and actions go undone
IT’S A CRIME so many people are restricting themselves over the presumed opinion of others. It’s nothing more than stories in your mind, my friend! You DO have what it takes to succeed, and you CAN overcome and continue to challenge that little cretinous critic in your mind.
We don’t pick up the phone and make the call.
We don’t extend the areas in which we train.
We don’t raise our hand to jump on a meeting call and ask questions.
We don’t say yes to new opportunities
We don’t do any where near as much as we want to, all because of that internal fear holding us back.
Well, no more I say! I remember being consumed myself, of innate fear on putting myself and my ideas out there into the big wide world.
My first live on Facebook, was terrible. My screen froze and I couldn’t hear anything that was being said.
The first book I wrote, initially was confusing and didn’t have a proper flow to it. It must have been edited and read 10 times before being published (and I’m still not entirely happy with it!)
My first training session in a puppy class, I stumbled my words, made mistakes, couldn’t communicated clearly with the people I was training.
I felt wholly inadequate for all of the above, and many many more things in my time learning to be a chef, a dog trainer, a gardener, working on the farms etc. Whenever you do something new, for the first time it’s going to be rough, and not quite what it should be, but the more you do, the better you get. And the better you get, the more your confidence grows. FACT.
Even to this day I get doubts, but the difference now is, that when I feel my inner critic (ego) telling me a whole host of stories on why I shouldn’t do it, I do the exact opposite and go and do it anyway, irregardless of the result.
Why don’t you give yourself permission to do imperfect activities and push yourself out of your comfort zone, and take the plunge? And if you want to do that, with a group of other people, who are just like you, then you can sign up for my free ‘How to build UNBREAKABLE confidence’ Masterclass, that is happening on February 23rd, 7:30pm, which you can register for, by clicking here
I cannot wait to help people build more confidence, and show them that all of the doubt’s they’re telling themselves, are nothing by stories in their mind.
Take the plunge, and see you there!
Stop selling yourself short!